================================================ Subject: Re: [ Creed Discuss ] NCR my drama From: "Lee Reed" To: discuss@creedlisters.com Date: Tue 22 Jun 2004 03:14:20 -0400 ================================================ i emailed you privately, jen...and it is a damn shame that doctors don't adequatley/effectivley treat pain in thier patients...that's where nurses come in...and it frustrates me to no end that alternatives i've suggested to my husbands docs are dismissed because 'im not familiar with that'... Lee >From: Jen Hessenthaler >Reply-To: Creed Discuss Temporary Replacement >To: Creed Discuss Temporary Replacement >Subject: Re: [ Creed Discuss ] NCR my drama >Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 14:38:19 -0500 > >Wow, I had no idea you're going through such a rough time. If there's >anything I can do, or if you just need to talk, let me know. Email me if >you want my phone number, or give me yours, I don't mind the long distance >call. I'd love to work on this together. And I'm sure you know as well as >I do from working with doctors, that they hate people in pain. They don't >know how to handle them at all. They don't want to give out pills if they >can avoid it, but don't want to be responsible for someone who can't >function because of constant pain. I even think that these pain management >doctors need more extensive training in alternatives to narcotics than >they're getting. I tried accupunture once, and it made me so tense and >nervous I think it defeated the purpose. I've also had lidocaine >injections >and used some kind of patch that was an accupressure point thing. The >doctor got them from some Chinese herbalist in Chicago, and kept promising >to get me more, but never did. Those helped a bit. Obviously not enough >to >keep me away from pain killers, but what does? And I'm sure Rich could >identify with what you're experiencing. How do you tell the person you >love >most to suffer because you don't like the way their doctors are treating >their symptoms? He knows less is accomplished here at home each day that I >am in pain, and that I haven't had the insurance I needed to explore much >else for the last few years. Incidentally, did I mention that I found out >my husband had been fired a few weeks prior to his death? That's why I >wasn't able to get insurance from his company, but they obviously figured >out that I didn't know he'd been fired, and were trying to be nice by >saying >he hadn't filed the paperwork before he died, rather than breaking the news >to me themselves. Or maybe my attorney was. They even sent me a thousand >dollars with a sympathy card. Strange, but true. Anyway, the good news is >that I found out this weekend from one of Rich's co-workers that I can be >on >his insurance policy since we live together. That's a rule that depends on >the state and the company...but obviously this is one time the union pulled >through on my side. So he's filing the paperwork this week. Which makes >our options a bit wider, Lee. Especially since I quit my job, and couldn't >pay for different treatments right now anyway. > >Get in touch with me Lee, let's figure this thing out. There must be a >solution. And now that I'm off the pain meds and muscle relaxers for a >full >9 days, I'm itching for something to make me feel better. But hey, the >withdrawl's gone! Praise God for that. 'Cause "I'm rusted and weathered, >barely holding together." Major changes in my life right now...and for the >better. I hope... > >Jen > > >----- Original Message ----- >From: "Lee Reed" >To: >Sent: Sunday, June 20, 2004 3:48 AM >Subject: RE: [ Creed Discuss ] NCR my drama > > > > jen, i know your pain...and will pray for you...i live this on a daily >basis > > too...i have gone so far as to take mark's pills away from him, only > > allotting him so many a day,yet he still seems to run short...as a >matter >of > > fact, just tonight, he told me he is so sick and tired of the cycle, and > > that he wants to get off the pain meds, and how depressed he is (he quit > > taking his antidepressant, against my wishes), how he can't live the >rest >of > > his life on meds, and so on ( we have had this conversation many times >over > > the past few years, and have yet to find an answer)...his ortho doc told >him > > he could do a fusion, but that he could not guarantee that it would > > help...and i am firmly against another surgery, as is mark...he tried a >tens > > unit once, and did not get any relief with that...have you done any >research > > into alternatives, such as acupuncture? we should talk...i know we >could > > help each other...you and i are fairly net savvy, between us we should >be > > able to research alternatives...and find SOMETHING that works for one or > > both of you... > > Lee > > ps. i know how hard your confession was....i feel that i am enabling my > > husband by continuing to tell him that i understand, that as long as he > > takes his meds for what they are intended for, that he is okay...but i >don't > > know what the hell else to do, you know? and it tears me apart, not >only >as > > his wife, but because i'm a nurse and I SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIX THIS! and >i > > can't...so i continue to enable him in his use, because, goddamit, he IS > > using the meds for the right reason, why the hell can't his doctors do > > something for him to stop the pain? and btw, he is also seeing a pain > > management guy, but in my mind, he is nothing but a pill pusher >too...okay, > > i'm in tears now...guess it's my confessional time too...i don't blame >my > > husband for what has happened, it was a fucking accident, okay? but i >have > > lost my house, i am filing for bankruptcy...all because he hurt his >fucking > > back...it happens, and i don't blame him, but a part of me does, you >know? > > I have been so depressed the past couple of years, this list has been > > probably the only place, outside of work, where i have felt comfortable, >and > > yet i have have shared the above info with only one or two people. i >myself > > am drinking way too much, guess it's my way of trying to cope...i have >been > > a complete and total bitch with my children, who have gotten way out of >hand > > because i've distanced myself from them because i just can't deal with > > them....i just had to ask my parents for $1700 to pay for my fucking > > electric to get turned back on...they had no idea how bad things were, >and >i > > think they still don't...all because i'm too damn proud to ask for > > help...okay, i'm done whining, this isn't i've got it worse than you > > do...what it boils down to, jen, is that there ARE other folks out there >who > > know what you are going thru...and i am obviously one of them...what >keeps > > me going is my family, my job, and the fact that no matter how bad >things > > are for me, there's someone out there who has it worse than i do...since >we > > have some things in common, how about we work together to find some of >the > > answers? if we can help each other through this whole damn pain thing, >i > > can't help but think that everything else will work out too... > > > > > > >From: Jen Hessenthaler > > >Reply-To: Creed Discuss Temporary Replacement > > > >To: Creed Discuss Temporary Replacement > > >Subject: [ Creed Discuss ] NCR my drama > > >Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 13:02:21 -0500 > > > > > >So we need some conversation? Okay, so it's time for a confession. >Ready? > > >This is kind of depressing, and shameful. > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > MSN Toolbar provides one-click access to Hotmail from any Web page - >FREE > > download! http://toolbar.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200413ave/direct/01/ > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Discuss mailing list > > Discuss@creedlisters.com > > http://lists.creedlisters.com/mailman/listinfo/discuss > > > > >_______________________________________________ >Discuss mailing list >Discuss@creedlisters.com >http://lists.creedlisters.com/mailman/listinfo/discuss _________________________________________________________________ FREE pop-up blocking with the new MSN Toolbar – get it now! http://toolbar.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200415ave/direct/01/ _______________________________________________ Discuss mailing list Discuss@creedlisters.com http://lists.creedlisters.com/mailman/listinfo/discuss